things that new york tries to sell me:
- a lawyer
- alcohol
- laser hair removal
- storage spaces on long island
- crystal light
- broadway tickets
- acne medication
- an education (the amount of trade schools and junior colleges is insane)
- movie tickets
- tv shows
- a degree in social work
and, most recently:
- a pill that turns you into kanye west (somehow, inexplicably, a vodka ad)
- a synthetic blood drink that encourages vampires to drink responsibly.
things that i have bought because of those ads:
- broadway tickets (to spring awakening, which was a huge mistake)
- crystal light. but that barely counts cause we actually buy it in michigan.
i think we can safely say that the ads are not having the proper effect on me. could it be my calvinistic discernment that keeps me safe? or maybe it's just that i have no desire to be kanye west, drink synthetic blood (how many vampires does this city have that we need to advertise to them??), or have lasers anywhere near me.
if they only had ads for an automatic kitchen cleaner. spray on, leave for five minutes, come back and the kitchen (including the back and underside of the fridge, cause our cats have been disturbingly riveted to the floor right by the fridge), is completely clean. now THAT is something i would buy.
2 comments:
Also, I would like there to be a dust/cat hair magnent. You turn it on and sit it in the middle of your floor and all the dust and hair just zooms over and collects in one big ball, so you can get rid of it all at once.
I've seen those Kayne West ads, and somehow they kind of creep me out. As do the fake blood ads.
I know... I stared at that Kayne West one for such a long time... still don't understand it.
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