i've been thinking a lot about new york making me hard. (this is going to come up a lot; it's been on my mind a lot.)

my cousin pointed this out to me when we were driving through pennsylvania and saw a dead deer at the side of the road and i said "oh, poor squashed car."

(i know. what was i THINKING?)

then mike told me that he and his friend from jersey had seen a rat while waiting for the subway and that ian had been excited to see it. i scoffed. ha! rats! i see those all the time! big deal!

at any rate, it would seem that i am surrounded by a hard shell of cynicism.

so i was a little surprised when i myself saw a rat on the platform while i was waiting for a subway and instantly thought "oooh! rat!!!"

i'm trying to think of an appropriate food analogy here, but it would seem that is what i'm coming down to: hard exterior, soft squishy interior.

and that's how i'll survive this city.